This is what I'm doing

I just ate a whole pack of pez, all at once.

I've started writing a book. It's about the Oregon Trail, kind of. Not the game, but certainly the game is what sparked my love affair with the history.

The wife is worried that, like my songs, it's going to be all about breaking up. It won't though, because in my book the wife is already dead, and it begins with one of the children dying.

I can't figure out why the wife doesn't think I'm ready for kids yet.

Let week we taught the dog to "speak" because he never barks. Now he barks all the time and always expects a treat for it. Oh well, live and learn.

John Mayer is Edward Scissorhands

What happened to everything?

I haven't written in a while, but that's okay because nobody reads this anyway. Mixed feelings about Anna Nicole passing - on the one hand, should I feel bad? while on the other hand, why would I feel bad?

It's good to see Bob Nardelli taking some heat in his departure from Home Depot. I don't like Home Depot because a) there's never any help, b) I'm always afraid something is going to fall off of the pallett racking and kill me, and c) it's over priced. I can get a three pack of fuses at ACE for less than one fuse at Home Depot. They bullied out the knowledgable, helpful, little guy in many markets to replace him with a business model tailored for contractors.

Anyway, I'm glad that Nardelli's departure is again bringing some attention to overpaid CEOs. You look at his story and you're like, "this guy really didn't do anything all that special during his tenure, and yet he's walking away with MILLIONS!"

Nobody's here but me at work today, and I wonder if they have all quit. I am definitely not qualified to run my own business.

The price for terrorism

The whole fiasco in Boston did more for Turner and his networks than he could have imagined. The word of mouth spreading because of this is, the morning after the super bowl, giving Turner and his brands as much as if not more water-cooler-talk-time than any of last night's advertisers. Extinding the 15-minutes of fame by agreeing to pay Boston $2 million was a terrific decision, and well worth the investment.

It's not about Aqua Teen Hunger Force, or the Cartoon Network, with this one. It's about building equity in the Ted Turner brand.

RETIRE ALREADY!

You aren't that good any more. And everyone else has moved on. Your teammates aren't as good as they used to be. Save yourself whatever dignity you have left and just retire, please.

Watching you play is like watching a three-legged dog trying to keep up at the dog park. Or watching those birds at the zoo with their wings clipped trying to fly. It's just sad.

Toothpaste

I think the mint industry should sue the toothpaste industry for giving everyone mint burnout. Toothpaste should come in flavors of things that aren't that good for us but that we like to eat. Imagine what a better place this world would be with lard or taco-bell flavored toothpaste.

Biden for Prez!

Maybe when Biden get's elected president he'll name Mel Gibson as our official diplomatic ambassador to Israel.

That's disgusting!

Sarah Silverman is dating Jimmy Kimmel? What? And has been for 4 1/2 years? What? What a waste?

I would expect Jimmy Kimmel to date either a) some sort of walrus, b) Anna Nicole, c) Elvis' daughter, or d) some ditzy, blond arm candy.